Hate You More (Chapter 11)

He said this whole thing was such a fake. And now I’m not in the position to deny it. I bought him a car so that he would hold my hand on the red carpet. I bought him posh and costly clothes so he would kiss on my cheek every time we saw the paparazzi taking our pictures. I brought him to classy dinners so that he would act romantic and passionately towards me. Yes. I did all that. I did all the good things for all the wrong reasons. But there’s one thing I bought for him which I didn’t ask for anything in return. But he retuned it with hate and disappointment. That bracelet. That silver bracelet I bought for him not long ago. We were at the beach back in my hometown having a weekend break together.

“ Oh my god! Please tell me you’re not doing what I think you’re doing!”, I asked him. There he was sitting on the sand looking very into what he was doing. He looked so concentrated; he didn’t even wipe the sweats coming down from his forehead. I sat next to him. I needed a break from all the ocean waves anyway.

“What? I’m making sand castles.”, he smiled. He looked so positively animated and excited. I looked at him.

“Sand castle? What are you, 10?”.
“You must’ve had a very terrible childhood. You’re always so bitter!”
“Very funny! You’re ONE funny gay guy, you know that?”
“There you go again! So bitter.”, he said. I ignored him and lied down on the mat. He kept on molding and sorting the sand. It was cute, really. He was such an adorable guy. So cute, I could eat him with a spoon.

“Done!”, he said. He waved his hand to me wanting me to look at it. I sat up and took a look at his ‘work of art’. Surprisingly amazing. I tried to come out with a gay joke on it but I got nothing. It was astounding, I gave him that.

“C+!”, I said.
“C+? You’re a monster.”. He did a ‘touch-up’ on it. I laughed. Then, we decided to walk along the beachside. It was one experience I could never forget. It was beautiful, with the sun setting, and the birds. It sounded cliché but it was nothing but the truth. He looked stunning under the sunset with only his boxer short.

“Can I ask you something?”. I asked him. I needed to get something off my chest.
“Yup, it hurts the first time”, he said.
“Huh?”.

I was so confused. I saw his lips moving but had no idea what he was saying.
“Oh, I thought you were going to ask about…err,,,anyway, what is it?”. His face turned red. Both cheeks.

“Well, I was just wondering..have you always known, errr you know..”. I couldn’t finish my sentence. I was hoping he would catch up.

“You mean, have I always known I was gay?”. He did catch up. I nodded. He looked up to the sky and took a long breath.

“ I knew I was gay when I was 16. I had this huge crush on my best friend. But he had a girlfriend back then. I often escorted them when they went out. My heart crushed every time I saw them kissing. But then one day, they broke up. So, I came on to him to tell him that I liked him.”

“And did you tell him? What did he say, then?”, I asked. I was so eager to know. He looked at me and grinned. We kept walking.

“I knew he was straight. And I knew he would be okay with it, but I had no idea that the confession I made changed our friendship forever.”. He looked like he was going to burst into tears but he pretended not to be.

“He moved out of town. We met minutes before he left. He gave me this beautiful silver bracelet with ‘ 4 – Eva’ written on it. It was the greatest gift I’ve ever had. I wore it every day”. He smiled again. That day I realized that he had the sweetest smile. I then took his hand and looked at his wrist.

“Where’s the bracelet? Why aren’t you wearing it anymore?”. I asked.

“When I was 19, my dad found out I was gay. He assumed that the bracelet was given by some guy I was dating. He ripped it off my wrist and threw it away.”.

I got shocked. He suddenly stopped walking. He looked away. I touched his shoulder and he looked at me.

“I know you’ll make a gay joke on me but…but…is it ok if I hug you?”. He asked. He had tears in his eyes.

“Hug me? oh, ermm,,I ..”, he hugged me before I could ever finish my sentence. He was sobbing and I tried to comfort him. He let go and took me sitting on a bench near the bench. My eyes caught a very unique stall near us.

“Erm, I’ll be back in a minute”., I said and went to the stall.


TO BE CONTINUED