Hate You More (Chapter 10)

The show ended. I got off the stage and rushed to my make-up room. I needed to find Joshua as soon as possible to discuss with him about him being paid to be interview. But he wasn’t there. I looked all over the place but couldn’t find him. I took my cell phone out of my purse and tried calling him. I heard a ringing on the couch table. Obviously he forgot to bring his cell phone with him. “Damn it!”. Then I heard a knocking on the door.
“Come in!”. Joshua walked in. “Want a soda?”. I stomped to him and threw his cell phone at him.

“ I gave you this phone for a reason!”. I yelled right to his face.
“I just went out to get some Soda.”
“There’s a bunch of Sodas in the refrigerator”. I pointed to the refrigerator in the room.
“Sorry. I never knew that.”
“Sorry? Is that the only word in your vocabulary?”. I asked.
“Why are you freaking out?”, he asked. I could tell he was feeling uncomfortable.
“Why am I freaking out? I’ll tell you why! Because I’m about to lose my career to some f**king prime-time host just because a f**king faggot is getting paid for telling my f**king secret I’ve been trying to hide my whole f**king life. THAT’S WHY!!”.

I definitely lost my temper. I could feel the vein on my neck and the sweats on my forehead. Joshua stared into my eyes. He seemed so astonished. He had never seen me that livid and irritated before. I walked to the mirror. I tossed every single thing off the table. He didn’t have any clue of how to handle the situation I was having. He rather walked out off the room. I noticed him walked away. So, I chased him.

“Where are you going?”
“Home”
“Wait. I’ll get my purse.”
“No. I meant, mine!”.
“What? What are you saying, Joshy?”
“You know what, I need to be alone so bad right now!”
“Oh come on. Stop being such a girl!”
“Enough with all the gay jokes! What? You’ve got any problem with me being gay? If you do, I DON’T GIVE A F**k! At least, I’m being truthful to myself. At least, I know what I want!”. I had no idea such simple sentences could actually hurt me. Hurt like I’ve never been hurt before.

“Therefore, I want to stop lying for you. I’m sick of this. This whole thing is such a fake”. He walked a few steps before he turned his head to me. “That kiss we had is the only thing that isn’t!”. He walked.


TO BE CONTINUED